This was something I heard myself saying recently. I was with senior staff from Lily’s school and we were (again) racking our brains to think how else to help.
Lily is struggling to attend school, thanks to recently being overwhelmed with memories linked to trauma from a different school. As part of this, someone suggested a firmer approach was used. To be frank, that would be a disaster and I think we all knew it, it was just that we feel like we have tried everything else.
Getting interim advice from CAMHS is proving to be a horrible, soul destroying process (despite this being the recommendation of their own clinical psychologist when she discharged Lily last September). So without this help we are stuck, working together, with Lily, desperately wondering if we are doing the right thing, especially since what we are trying doesn’t seem to be getting us very far.
It occurred to me, however, that this could be a useful phrase for parents whose children attend a school with a ‘much less helpful’ approach…
“When his IEP isn’t carefully followed it’s much more difficult for me to get him into school the next day.”
“If she feels penalised for struggling, then she finds it very hard to leave the house to go to school the next morning.”
“If he feels trapped at school and not allowed to leave when he needs to, it is almost impossible for him to manage to go the school the next day.”
“If he falls behind with his work becasue it hasn’t been differentiated for him he can’t motivate himself to get to school the next day.”
“If she feels she has been punished unfairly/hasn’t been able to process and explain what happened…” You get the picture
“If you do that, it’s likely that I won’t be able to bring her in the next day.”
I do hope these random thoughts come in handy? A way of demonstrating that you can only do so much if once your child is at school they ‘get it all wrong’.
Stay calm fellow warriors, day at a time and when all else fails drink gin …