You want ‘Mum’ to be less anxious?

You want ‘Mum’ to be less anxious?

It’s simple.  Look after her child in a way that accurately reflects their needs.

To do this right you need to understand her child.  You may have to develop some humility, improve your communication skills, learn a few new things, test them out and liaise with ‘Mum’ and some professionals.  Not to hard right?  Part of your job right?  Helping children to be happy and to develop was why you came into teaching right?

Just to be clear, when your child is struggling every day and the adults you entrust them to for hours a week is part of the reason, or the environment you send them to is part of the problem, then feeling anxious or worried is a natural, healthy and appropriate response.

Anxiety is not the problem, it’s a sign that there is a problem.

I can’t believe how different I am starting to feel.  For the first time in his life, Peter is in a school that is helping him to feel good, to enjoy his life, helping him to recover from the last few years and to learn in a way that doesn’t lead to him becoming distressed.  In fact, he is so happy that he can’t wait until next term.  He is enjoying his holiday but at the same time he is excited about next term and today said that if he could fast forward to the end of the holidays right now then he would!  Year 8 is going to be the best year of his life he says.  I think he may be right.

Lily is in a school that is genuinely caring and holistic in its approach.  She too is starting to recover and thrive.

For the first time in years, I feel that my children are safe and cared for by competent and caring staff.  For the first time ever I feel like I am part of the team.  For the first time in years, I’m not frantically trying to work out how to help or what to do.  I’m not spending hours a day supporting a terrified, exhausted or dissociated child or his traumatised sister.  I can be me.  We can relax, laugh, play and share a joke.

So next time you hear yourself describing ‘Mum’ as anxious bear in mind that her anxiety may not be the problem, but that you may well be.  And while we are at it, stop calling her ‘Mum’.  If you don’t get why then click here.

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One thought on “You want ‘Mum’ to be less anxious?

  1. Nail on the head… Fingers crossed that despite some apparent ‘settling in hiccups’ and an exclusion after just 2 days, our meeting tomorrow will be constructive and the team of people now around us can help soothe my anxiety by taking care of my babybear.


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