Managing the Mail: A Mini-blog

When communications with school, the LA and other agencies regularly affect your day…

How to manage the:

  • panic,
  • shaking,
  • overwhelming worry,
  • excessive (sometimes, but only sometimes, necessary) catastophophic thinking,
  • nausea,
  • faintness …..

and other debilitating symptoms that can come on at the sound of a ringtone, the flash of an email on your screen or the sight of an envelope on the mat.

  1. Nope.  It really isn’t just you, it happens to very, very, many parents and carers of children with SEN.  So that is the first thing.  It’s not just you.  It isn’t a sign you are failing to cope; but it maybe a sign you have more to cope with than you should have.
  2. Consider setting up a separate email address.  Don’t link it to your phone.  Only look at certain times, times when reading them won’t impact on time with your family.  You could have fun with the address: Peter has suggested ‘listening.isnt.hard@…..’
  3. Ask a friend (or partner) to read significant letters and emails first.  I do this.  Rosie and Jo’s mum is entrusted with advising me if I need to read it or not.  She also does me a neutral summary sometimes of the contents so that I can more easily read them without heading into a panic.
  4. Remember that it fades.  Notice how long it takes to pass so you can remind yourself of that next time.
  5. Set up a small group chat with 2 or 3 others.  This is the lifeline of the ‘itmustbemum’ mums.  We can post there numerous times a day and there is usually someone else around who can support, empathise or help us to refocus and see a different perspective if necessary.

With the benefit of hindsight… this is the first of a new section of blogs that are designed to be mini pockets of reflections and ideas.  We hope that they will lead to you coming up with some ideas to make your own lives less tricky.  Please let us know what you think of them.

Some lovely twitter folk triggered the chain of thoughts for this one – so thank you 🙂

For a list of all our posts click here.


4 thoughts on “Managing the Mail: A Mini-blog

  1. Thank you for this post, and for all your other posts, which DH and I are newly discovering. Our meeting at school last week was preceded by a morning of fight – or – flight vibes. How I see myself in the anxious checking for emails and working out the emotions that result from reading them. Your content is so accessible and empowering. Thank you, very much.


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