Peter (11yo with Asperger’s) said today “Mum, do you think that people with autism make other people mad on purpose?”
He went on to say that when you make someone angry, then the world becomes predictable for a few minutes. When he feels he is about to be in crisis and nothing makes sense and everything keeps changing …… then making someone angry stops all of that. Then everything feels safe because it is predictable.
It doesn’t matter what the consequences are because when you are in crisis your sole purpose is to feel safe and this over rules all other factors at that moment in time.
He said “I think I do it when I call Lily (his little sister) Little Pig”.
Little Pig It is a sort of love / hate thing. She loves it and it is meant affectionately but she pretends to hate is and flies into “Piggy Rage”. He says it helps because he knows how she will react and that he does it on purpose. He triggers Piggy Rage when he feels his anxiety rising.
I know of others whose children spend hours and hours in a state of absolute and complete exhausting rage. It is confusing and highly stressful. Understanding the underlying reason, the purpose, what the child gains (to help us to understand the unmet need) has proved to be impossible no matter how hard we try to work it all out.
I think peter may have stumbled across a little golden nugget. The interesting thing is, that he doesn’t act out in this way at home, and only has a school for one period of 4 weeks. He has however watched others in the sort on curious non-judgemental way we could only dream that professionals would do. This quality in combination with his “insider view” of the autistic world means his reflections can be incredibly insightful.
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