Mum to DJ and Velcro I was asked to be a part of this amazing little group of mums to offer up my experiences, advice and support to other parents following a similar journey. I've watched this little idea of itmustbemum start to grow quickly and have felt quite nervous as to when and what … Continue reading When it all goes dark
Month: January 2017
By Rosie and Jo's mum I never wanted to be one of ‘those’ parents. In fact, I still don’t want to be one. I need to send my child to school knowing that she will be looked after with integrity and that communications between me and the school will be honest and open. It is … Continue reading One of ‘Those’ Parents
Peter (11yo with Asperger’s) said today "Mum, do you think that people with autism make other people mad on purpose?" He went on to say that when you make someone angry, then the world becomes predictable for a few minutes. When he feels he is about to be in crisis and nothing makes sense and … Continue reading Are they “Naughty” for Attention?
Following on from the tips from Rosie and Jo’s mum (see unable to attend school) I want to share some lessons learned from the experiences of Peter and Jack. Peter and Jack were almost 9 and in Year 4. They had shared the same kind, nurturing teacher for 1 term in Year 3 and the same unkind … Continue reading Unable to attend school – what next?
I was struggling significantly with the unfathomable behaviour of Peter’s head teacher until a friend reminded me about a thing called unconscious incompetence – and then it all fell into place. With unconscious incompetence you don’t know what you don’t know. This described many of Peter’s teachers, his SENCo and head teacher nicely. I particularly … Continue reading When Professionals are ‘Incompetent’
By Rosie and Jo’s mum. When I was a childminder, I had the privilege of watching lots of babies learning to walk. I was even lucky enough to see some first steps. Those babies recognised their developing skills and used the resources around them to get to the next level. When they were ready to … Continue reading How do Children Make Progress?
By Rosie and Jo’s mum. “When she’s in school, she’s fine…..” “Once you’ve dropped her off, she’s fine.” “She’s been fine all day.” I’ve probably heard these phrases and other variations of them hundreds of times over the years. When I had watched the 12 year old Rosie grow progressively more pale and anxious as … Continue reading What does ‘fine’ mean?
Rosie and Jo’s mum. When Jo was eight, I was told that, if she didn’t ‘want’ to go to school, I should manhandle her out of the house and all the way into school. I called her CAMHS psychologist and explained. She told me to manhandle her into school too. Incredulous, I repeated her words … Continue reading Unable to attend school
Just so you know - for those arriving here after reading "the book" - this blog was 12 months after Part 8 was written. So Peter did make it to the residential school which he so desperately needed. However, as you will see it wasn't all plain sailing. 😦 In case you have doom and … Continue reading 36 Hours in the Life of an SEN Mum Trying to Re-enter the Workplace
James and Barry have disagreement in class and disrupt the lesson. The teacher takes them both to one side, asks for an explanation from both of them and gives them both a playtime detention. Equal treatment but not fair treatment. Both boys are bright 12 year olds. Whilst James is a typically developing child Barry … Continue reading When Equal Treatment is not Fair Treatment: a case for more SLT in schools
I’m incensed! Again! To be clear, when a child is displaying distress before and / or after school because their needs are inadequately understood and supported during school hours, it is not OK. Parents are told “We can’t help because we don’t see the problem in school”. They don’t get it do they? That is … Continue reading ‘Masking’ and ‘Blending In’ – is there a difference?
This morning was another little first in parenting – I nipped to the shop leaving my 9-year-old at home with her 11-year-old brother, very briefly, for the first time. We enjoyed a relaxed breakfast together and it felt just so deliciously ordinary. I am aware that the word ‘normal’ can make some people flinch and … Continue reading What is “Normal” anyway?
It is clear from the few forums I am on that there are a number whose children's chronic and prolonged school related distress has resulted in serious and significant harm to their mental health. Damage that isn't all reversible and has sometimes led to children being admitted to mental health inpatient units whilst still in … Continue reading It’s Not Fair
So what do children with an Autism Spectrum Condition need from their local Mental Health Services? prevention-and-early-intervention-of-mh-difficulties-for-those-with-an-asd Posted by Peter and Lily's mum. If you have found this post helpful and you think others may too, please click one of the share buttons below Like this blog? To see more of our blog posts … Continue reading Prevention of and Early Intervention in Mental Health Difficulties for those with an Autism Spectrum Condition
It all came as a bit of a shock to me. That school staff constantly made announcements based on assumptions that they made. Assumptions about anything and everything.... but in particular assumptions in an area that they are not especially knowledgeable... not knowledgeable at all as it turned out. I'll explain with some examples.... I … Continue reading Do Professionals in Education make Too Many Assumptions?